Healing My Traumas Through Awareness

 To be honest, becoming AWARE of my traumas, wounds and my obsessive compulsive autopilot mode wasn’t easy and pretty. Running on this mode for almost three decades has become part of who I am, it became my personality where I kept operating and projecting from those wounds. I kept going back to my old patterns and ways, once I loose AWARENESS. It required slowing down and consistent practise/awareness. I am still on this journey. I don’t call myself as completely healed as I often bounce back and forth at times but I ‘d say that, I have planted the seed of AWARENESS and I’m watering it everyday. Lately, I've started becoming more aware of myself when I'm operating on autopilot. There would be many moments where I would go through my day—working, eating, and even having conversations—without really being present. It wasn't until I took a step back and slowed down that I began noticing how disconnected I had become from myself. I realized I wasn’t fully engaged. My mind was elsewhere, and I felt an underlying sense of anxiety that I hadn’t acknowledged. By pausing and tuning into my thoughts, emotions and behaviour, I was able to recognize the stress I was carrying, allowing me to address it instead of numbing them. This newfound awareness helped me reconnect with my feelings, bringing a sense of calm and clarity that I hadn’t realized I was missing.

To be precise I have shortlisted 10 steps that have helped me in healing. All revolving around AWARENESS and ACCEPTANCE

• Taking accountability for my Healing(Despite my past adversities): Taking accountability for my healing helped me be responsible for creating and co creating my reality. It’s about choosing to own my mess no matter how challenging it is. No more running away.

• Healing my past traumas from within: Somatic healing exercises helped me focus on reconnecting my mind and body through awareness and sensation. Through the exercises I tuned into how my body feels during movement, rather than just performing an action on autopilot. The goal is to become more aware of my bodily sensations, since it was dissociated I released stored tension, and felt relaxed. Somatic involved slow, mindful movements that encouraged me to follow my breath and move to areas of the body that I was holding stress or discomfort this improved my physical body awareness and reduced chronic pain. To be honest I have seen a huge difference in myself as I began to release pain from my mind and body through slow and intentional movements.

• Becoming aware of my Mother & Father wounds: For a long time I was not aware of my mother and father wounds but now as I heal that part of me, it has allowed me to understand how my childhood relationships shaped my beliefs and behaviors, and how I recreated the same dynamics in my adult relationships.
• Becoming aware of my Negative Self Beliefs: Becoming aware of my negative self-beliefs, my negative self talk, being hurtful towards myself and others helped me identify my root cause ie, FEAR and by allowing myself to replace them with positive thoughts such as LOVE and GRATITUDE led me to healing.
• Becoming aware of my Coping Mechanisms: Becoming aware of my coping mechanisms allowed me to recognize the ways I was avoiding discomfort or numbing my emotions, giving me the opportunity to choose healthier ways to process and heal, rather than relying on temporary fixes.

•  Healing my Energy through Yoga,Meditation and Breath Work: Healing and releasing my energy centres/chakras that were blocked restored balance in my body, mind, and spirit. By focusing on each chakra through practices like meditation, breath work, and yoga I became more attuned with my emotions and physical sensations, leading to a sense of wholeness, clarity, and vitality.

• Worked on Emotional Healing:Working on emotional healing helped me process and release unresolved feelings and hurt, allowing me to let go of past pain and move forward rather than being stuck in the past. By acknowledging and expressing my emotions, I was able to open up my heart again which was once blocked and closed, I could see others through their prespective and hold space for their emotions.

•  Healing my Triggers: Healing my triggers was tough work, it took a long time infact years and years it required awareness and presence to my inner world where lots of resentments were stored and suppressed, as I cleared them one by one I was able to feel lighter and free. SO when life throws me a curve ball I have learned how to respond with awareness and be non reactive the trigger became empty triggers with no ammunitions, as I am not carrying them anymore inside of me.

•  Healing my relationships: I struggle the most in this area, healing my relationships is still going on and will be an on going process. My heart is beginning to open up again to love, trust and vulnerability there’s so much to unlearn. I have just scratched the surface.

• Healing my Inner Child: My inner child is the purest part of my soul that knew no fear nor doubt but only love and oneness,I am beginning to reconnect every moment through healing this pure part of myself that was once hurt, neglected and abandoned. By nurturing, validating, reparenting and comforting that younger version of me, I was able to release old wounds and love myself again.